Sunday, May 26, 2019

Back In The Saddle

I did something foolish, and paid the price....
If you know me you know I have a big beautiful rescue dog. He was largely untrained when we got him, a bit on the wild side, but smart, and eager the please.
Oak quickly became my Velcro dog, and with lots of patience and firm loving leadership has become a wonderful boy.
We firmly believe that a well exercised dog is a good dog, so we walk, a lot, and fast, almost to a jog.
Bare with me I'm setting the stage here.
He no longer pulls on the lead, or reacts to everything with fur, feathers or wheels, but that doesn't mean he's not aware of his surroundings, unlike his dog mom, who on the day in question was totally oblivious to the world around her. Instead I was obsessing about everything I had to do in the month of May, my schedule for painting for my up coming solo show, elder care, teaching etc etc.
Oak stopped to look at a rabbit.
 It was like hitting a brick wall at high speed, I fell right over top of him, landed on my face, smashed my glasses and knocked myself silly.
Three weeks in I'm just beginning to get back to work.
I've never had to deal with a concussion before, It's unbelievably frustrating, in fact I'm typing while looking out the window, because doing more than glancing at the screen is impossible still.
Miss Dakin the typing teacher would be so proud lol.
I tried going back into my studio last week, and made such a mess of that painting that I've had to start over again, not to worry I'll be able to salvage parts of the original. The beauty of working on terraskin is that I can chop it up.
Having nothing to do for three weeks has an upside. I set a bunch of paintings that just hadn't lived up to their potential up to look at, and eventually found a fix for each of them. I also realized that there were things I wanted to change in my current direction, and developed ideas to implement those changes.
So thank you rabbit, I maybe even further behind, but in many ways it's put me ahead!

UPDATE 4 months in.
I've been forced to learn how to say no, something I've always had trouble with, and I've had to learn also how to slow down, stop, think, and re think. I've learned-the hard way-to review every move, concentrate on each step, go through the check lists I devised for my students on composition and colour relationships. In someways all of this learning and relearning is making me a better artist, refocusing on basics while still experimenting with my technique.
The physical symptoms of concussion, or more properly post concussion syndrome, are slowly abating, some of them may always be with me. This is my new reality. The vertigo sucks, as do days when my eyes decide to work independent of each other, but I will never give up. I just go slower and more carefully. The muses must have thought I needed to refocus, no doubt they know best LOL.


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